fear again

Why do we exist?Well no reason I suppose,just to leave it all.Just to come and whither away some day.You realise the brutality of life when you see that the purpose just doesnt exist.I just did.It may seem to be the most endless moment,everything rushes past from where you watch.Hands shaking,blinded eyes,sorrowed heart.No fear of death takes over but when you look at the mirror with retrospect you would see the face of death in your own eyes.That is when the stare freezes you over.When your spine chills,when your thoughts black out.All this misery and suffering only for the fear of death.Is this the real purpose?
TO be afraid of dying our whole life and then in the forgetting to live our life.It s almost as if we were already dead just waiting to be cremated some day officially.I have always thought that belief would lead the way to the truth but when the beliefs are shaken,thoughts are threatened then the simplest solution is...Just close my eyes and drift away into eternity with no goodbyes,no last looks,no reality...